| my girlfriend is phenomenal.
i don't know how i've managed to find somebody so caring, so understanding, so absolutely loving, and so thoroughly strange -- but i love her to pieces. =) | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| i'm going to tell you all a little story about a friend i used to have. this was a person who was near and dear to my heart, though i haven't seen her in years. as of yesterday, she is still near and dear to me, but i don't expect i'll ever talk to her again.
it's a sad story, on several different levels.
we went to high school together, her and i, and for a time she called me her best friend in the world. she was my closest friend as well, but of course, time and distance being what they are, we drifted apart. she moved away, i moved away, she moved back, and i didn't. sometimes i call her while i'm driving to clients across the northeast, and we catch up a little bit.
she's in kind of a rough place right now. she started going out with a fellow far her senior, who hasn't treated her with the respect or caring she so richly deserves. as near as i've been able to ascertain, he hasn't treated her with the respect or caring i afford a wino who accosts me in the street, but it's her life and she needs to live it as she chooses.
an unexpected pregnancy and a shotgun wedding later, there's two little children who have become caught up in this mess, and from all i've been able to tell the entire affair has descended into madness and chaos.
there are ups and downs, of course. the unexpected pregnancy has turned into two beautiful little girls (i'm sure that they are beautiful, though i've never met them), and the elderly gentleman with whom my friend has become mired has shown himself to be controlling, domineering, abusive, unfaithful, and generally speaking the sort of prick you hear about on lifetime movies. i'm sure they have a good time sometimes. i hope that they do. i probably just don't really hear about the good times, but holy shit do i hear about a lot of bad ones.
my friend still loves him -- for reasons that neither i nor the livejournal community that is her outlet can understand (stockholm syndrome perhaps?), but again, it's her life and she needs to live it as she chooses. i don't doubt that she does. my friend is a very caring person, who loves those that she loves with an intensity that i will never know.
as anybody reading this who knows me even a little bit *also* knows, i am (i like to think) a pretty decent guy. i care about my friends, i treat people with respect, and i try to be a good person.
i'm also a bitter, cynical, sarcastic, crude, tasteless asshole, which is old news to anybody who's ever spoken to me for more than 30 seconds at a time. certainly my particular blend of tasteless humor is well known to my friend mentioned above.
all of that is background information, much of which many of you already know.
so, with the preamble out of the way, i can proceed to telling my story.
for quite some time, my friend was struggling with some apparent infidelity on her husband's behalf -- some pretty inappropriate text messages were found on his phone ("hey ****, when do i get to tap that big black booty again?", among other, more hilarious examples), some emails were found, etc. she dealt with this in her own way, namely to internalize things, and i lent my support where i could. i also made some pretty inappropriate jokes about it after the furor had died down, because, shit. if you can't laugh at things getting dicked up in your life, why bother living it?
like i said, i'm a sarcastic, tasteless asshole.
in the interest of full disclosure, these are the text messages i sent, the first one in the beginning of may and the latter ones in the middle of may:
"Pssssst! Hey! It's your secret lover, Dan! Call me!
xoxoxo ;)
(seriously tho, give me a call)
her reply:
"You goose!"
a couple days later she called me back, we chatted for a while, caught up, talked about the family, etc. (i was driving home from philadelphia at the time, or maybe driving there. i have to drive to philadelphia a lot, and calling people i don't hear from often otherwise is how i pass a lot of the time.)
a couple weeks later, i sent another one:
"Hey xxxxxxxx, it's your strictly, platonic friend Dan, with whom absolutely nothing illicit or extramarital is going on at all! Just wondering when our next "meeting" will be ;)
Yep, just two old friends meeting for coffee, that's us! Ha ha!
p.s., i'm all out of lube"
(i had been stuck in traffic for 3 hours on the george washington bridge when i sent that one. the crux of the joke there is that she's caught more than a few text messages like these from her husband to various anonymous women, which were *not* done in jest. i thought it was suitably inappropriate and hilarious, and enough time had passed since those incidents that a tasteless comment could at least be tasteless *and funny*, or so i had thought)
her reply:
"You truly are ridiculous and inappropriate. How about coffee w all 4 of us?"
"Hey, I aim to please! I can't this weekend but maybe next Saturday stephl and I could head down to ol' connectibutt? I'm dying to meet Frick & Frack!
and your husband
I *guess*"
clearly, she got the joke. i'd like to point out again that i still have not seen her in nearly two years, and i haven't even met her two daughters (who i just call frick & frack -- like i said, i'm an asshole)
again, we chatted for a little while on the phone, had a few laughs, and went about our merry ways. she even had a post the other day that sounded like things were looking up between her and her beau -- huzzah! perhaps things over there have finally settled down, and they can start acting like a normal family.
clearly, that is not the case.
as i was leaving work yesterday, i checked my phone, and found that my friend had called me -- pretty rare, typically when i call her she doesn't answer, and i might get a call back in a few days or a week or two. not only had she called me though, she'd called me *five times* within the past 20 minutes, so i called her back -- in tears, she tells me i need to talk to her husband.
i've never met this man, or spoken to him at all, but the first words out of his mouth are: "ARE YOU FUCKING MY WIFE? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH MY WIFE? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE"
"woah, buddy. relax."
"HOW CAN YOU TALK TO A MAN'S WIFE LIKE THIS? YOU SICK FUCK, THAT IS A MAN'S WIFE! LUBE? YOU FUCKING THINK THIS IS FUNNY?"
"dude. you need to calm down. it was a joke, i'm sorry."
he just kept swearing for a while. i told him to calm down, and tried to explain that no, i was not fucking his wife -- i was joking around with an old friend of mine. he didn't get it, and just kept swearing. i apologized again a few times, and eventually my friend took the phone back. she explained that this looks really bad, and that she should probably not talk to me for a while, if ever again.
i suppose he has a right to be angry. the messages i sent are, yeah, pretty inappropriate -- i didn't think anything of it at the time, because i'm a pretty inappropriate sort of dude. i just thought it was funny. clearly he doesn't, and has taken things personally. i heard him shouting "WHERE THE FUCK DOES HE LIVE" a couple times in the background while my friend explained that she can never talk to me again. some people can take a joke, and some people cannot -- my big mouth has finally gotten somebody into some pretty serious trouble.
at this point, i am now legitimately worried for my friend's safety. i don't like her husband (i've still never met the man, nor spoken to him other than the 2 minutes of screaming at me he did yesterday), and i don't like the way that he treats her. it's none of my business, though, and she needs to live her own life, but this man is going to be trouble. i fear that i have incited this family to distress and chaos the likes of which it has not known for quite some time.
to my friend:
if you're reading this, again, i'm sorry for the trouble that i've caused you. you've been a good friend for a very long time, and know that i still care about you, and your well being. if never speaking to me again is what will make the peace and happiness i hope you have someday possible, then may we never converse again, but please -- don't let this monster control your life, don't let him abuse you, and don't let him abuse your children. you deserve better.
to my friend's husband:
you're a fucking asshole. i hope you die in a fire.
there is serenity in chaos, the principia says -- seek ye the eye of the hurricane. i hope my friend can find a storm shelter. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| team thunderhorse strikes again!
ran a 90-minute kart enduro at f1 boston outdoors with the bmwcca on sunday, with my friends erik and korey.
korey does a fair amount of karting, but erik and i do so infrequently at best -- perhaps twice, maybe three times a year.
these are not kiddie go-karts -- they'll get up to nearly 60 mph, and it's a 1.x mile long outdoor road course. these are 9 hp race karts (9 hp doesn't sound like much, but on a kart it is a lot of power).
out of a field of 19 people -- many of whom brought not only their own helmets, but their own neck braces, side braces, and fire suits as well -- our team qualified third.
we finished second place.
SUCK IT, BMW SNOBS =D
4-hour enduro this fall... FUCK YES. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| a bit belated, but here is my unsolicited livejournal review of the new david fincher movie, done in handy step-by-step recipe format:
1: mix together equal parts forrest gump and fried green tomatoes. stir in just a dash of flowers for algernon.
2: put it in your fanciest serving dish, and bake it for WAY the fuck too long. it doesn't matter what temperature you bake it at, it's going to be crap anyway. what's important is that it's served up by brad pitt.
THE END | | comments: Leave a comment |
| fuck yes!
i could not be more pleased with the results of this election.
obama is the president elect, thank bob, but! but but but!
more importantly to the residents of the fine commonwealth of massachusetts, at least 65% of them anyway, question #2 has passed! =D
for those NOT from massachusetts, mass ballot question #2 was a measure asking to decriminalize the wacky tobacky. not to legalize it mind you, just to decriminalize it. now, if you are caught with an ounce or less of marijuana, you A, forfeit your weed, and B, have to pay a $100 fine. no criminal record, no jail time -- it's not unlike a jaywalking ticket.
woo! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| http://www.apexspeed.com/forums/showpost.php?p=183665&postcount=1
paul newman has terminal cancer.
he's not expected to live past this september.
wednesday, they shut down limerock park for an hour and a half so he could make some goodbye laps in his 'vette gtr1, of course sporting the trademark bob sharp racing red-white-and-blue. this is probably the saddest thing i've heard in months.
for those who didn't know, paul newman is one of my many heroes in this world -- he was a movie star, *still is* a race-car driver (formerly a championship-winning driver for datsun, and at 70 years old was STILL an active member of a winning race team), a philanthropist, and puts on the best god damned fireworks show in the state of connecticut. he is the proverbial one hell of a guy, last of a dying breed, and he is going to die inside of a month.
this makes me incredibly sad -- this is how i felt when i heard that douglas adams had passed on.
here's to you, paul. you've had a hell of a life, you've done an enormous amount of good, and you've done it with style. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| unplanned side benefit to being in the pacific timezone:
adult swim starts at 8:00 PM. home movies is on by 10:30 at night.
woo! | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| there are many things in this world that can make one feel particularly old.
tonight's specific instance: a commercial for a cd, probably from time life or some shit, with a collection of various 'grunge and alternative hits' and such.
BUZZ CUTS, TEH GREATEST OF ALTERNATIVE ROCK HURRRRRR
(is basically the gist of it)
there's the age-old saw about collections like this, ostensibly the music popular when you were a kid, making one feel one's age, but that's not why this makes me feel old.
what makes me feel especially old here is that this is all shit that i had outgrown and considered juvenile when it was brand new. i was *already old* when this crap was relevant, and now there's an entire new set of people being made to feel old by it. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| Area-51® m15x
Display:
15.4" WideUXGA 1920 x 1200 LCD (1080p)
System Lighting:
Alienware® AlienFX® System Lighting - White
Video/Graphics Card:
512MB Nvidia® GeForce™ Go 8800M GTX
Processor:
Intel® Core™ 2 X7900 2.8GHz – Extreme Edition (4MB Cache 800MHz FSB)
Memory:
2GB Dual Channel DDR2 SO-DIMM at 667MHz – 2 x 1024MB
Turbo Cache Memory:
Intel® Turbo Memory (1GB) – Accelerate Data Transfer Speed
Operating System (Office software not included):
Windows Vista® Ultimate
System Drive:
64GB Solid State Drive
Smart Bay Drive:
200GB 7200RPM (16MB Cache)
Optical Drive:
2x Dual Layer Blu-ray Disc Burner (BD-R, DVD±RW, CD-RW)
Wireless:
Internal Intel® Wireless 4965 a/b/g/Draft-N Mini-Card
Sound Card:
Internal High-Definition Audio with surround sound
Keyboard Options:
AlienFX® Illuminated Keyboard
Mobile Essentials:
Alienware® 6-cell Smart Bay Additional Battery
Warranty:
3-Year AlienCare Toll-Free 24/7 Phone Support w/ Onsite Service
Alienware Extras:
Alienware® Mesh Cap
Alienware® Mousepad
Alienware® Mobile Binder
Alienware® Personalized Nameplate
Owner Identification Card
Area-51® m15x Protective Cloth Sleeve
Area-51® m15x Keyboard Diagram Overlay
Area-51® m15x Smooth Mylar Touchpad
Personalization
Avatar: Alienhead Glow
Window Style: Graphite Window Style
Mouse Pointers: Standard Mouse Pointers
Wallpaper:
o Alienhead 3D (Widescreen)
o Alienhead Glow (Widescreen)
o Alien Schematic (Widescreen)
Power Plan: Standard Power Plan
Automatic Updates: Automatic Updates Off
Sidebar Gadgets:
o CPU Meter
o Notepad
Time Zones:
(GMT - 5.00) Eastern Time (US & Canada)
Shipping: $50
SubTotal without Tax: $texas
Taxes: $taxes
Total: 2+3=cats
SWEET JESUS I CANNOT WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON THIS THING | | comments: 10 comments or Leave a comment |
| this week: "beautiful" downtown birmingham, alabama.
i don't like alabama. i don't care much for the south in general, but alabama in particular just bugs me the fuck out. i have seen two things here worth mentioning:
the sloss furnaces: a steel mill first built in the late 1800s and run consistently until the late 1960s, it was the company that quite literally gave rise to the city of birmingham. they turned it into a national landmark in 1971, and with the exception of turning one of its offices into a visitor center and painting a bunch of the rails yellow, it's just as it was when it was operational. it's now a museum (and art metalworking studio / outdoor concert venue), in which you can pretty much just stroll around and be awed by the magnificence of industry and the marvels of human engineering or whatever.
all that said, it is incredibly cool: i went early on a tuesday morning, and was the only person there. it was utterly deserted, eerily quiet, and reminded me of nothing so much as a half-life 2 level.
the other thing worth mentioning in alabama is the barber vintage motorsports museum. this is less a museum than a shrine to the gods of internal combustion, which as anybody who knows me can tell you, is *right* the fuck up MY alley. the museum was built by a guy named george barber, the owner of barber's dairy (a multigenerational dairy business that through various dealings since the 1930s has quite literally gained a monopoly over dairy production in all of alabama). the family fortune allowed him to start a little motorcycle collection, which used to be in a small warehouse in birmingham -- eventually it got big enough for him to build a monstrous museum, originally slated as a private facility, and a world-class racetrack right next door, again for his private use -- though eventually he talked the city council into letting him open it to the public.
it is by now the largest collection of motorcycles in the world, with a 2.38 mile road course, which i suppose the dude spends all day zooming around on like a kid on a go-kart track. inside the museum itself is like looking at a matchbox set -- it's 5 stories, a few walls of which literally just have shelves, floor to ceiling on all 5 levels, with motorcycles in them. every vintage, every maker, every kind of bike that just happened to catch the dude's eye. there's over 1200 on display, and in talking to the guy that works the gift shop, there's another 2 bikes in storage for every 1 on the floor. add to all that a couple dozen vintage formula one cars, indy cars, some old lotii, a ferrari or two, and a model T. on the basement floor, which you can see from the lobby but can't go down to (it's also where the restoration shop is), there's a porsche 917, a radical DSR, and a few other things that even *I* don't recognize. i even thought i saw a tyrell p34.
the individualized nature of the bike collection though, is pretty obvious, and pretty awesome. it really does say a lot about george barber. a typical museum would be filled with ground-breaking, historical bikes, and not really anything else -- and certainly this museum has those. on the top floor alone there was a britten V1000 (which, supposedly, george barber was going to race professionally before john britten passed away), and an absolutely FLAWLESS '92 honda NR750. anybody who knows about motorcycles can tell you how priceless and rare these things are. they had some vintage cafe racers, a few AMA superbikes (current and retro), a few handfuls of bona-fide moto GP bikes (along with their privateer counterparts, like the TZ250), an RC30 and an RC45, etc, along with a variety of mystery bikes circa 1904. along with all of that, though, was just... bikes. stuff that isn't particularly rare, or really even particularly nice, just stuff the guy liked. ducatis, yamahas, kawasakis, BMWs, anything under the sun. there was an EX250, which is the geo metro of the motorcycle world, alongside an FZ750 (the redneck rocket!) and, which got me a little misty-eyed, an '84 GPZ 750 turbo. dude just REALLY loves motorcycles. he's not out to show off the amazing history of two-wheeled transport, he just seriously loves them.
sorry, i get a little worked up about stuff that moves.
in any case, both of these things were fantastically awesome. go to birmingham to see them, then leave immediately.
FIN | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| hehe, you're never too old to burn a bunch of donuts in a rented mustang.
hey, burning rubber is an american pastime -- maybe even moreso than baseball! | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| i realize that i have been neglectful in updating, and i apologize, particularly in light of my semirecent career change, and some have asked me to keep some manner of travel log.
as of the beginning of march, i have taken a job as a technical consultant for a company called hyperion solutions, which now goes by another moniker: oracle.
this job involves being flung to random parts of the country to install some pretty high-end financial software. it's complicated and hard, but interesting, and definitely challenging -- something that my old job at dimension data could never have provided (my job there was to answer questions that nobody had. it was the control desk all over again).
some of the random places of the country that i've been to in the past couple months:
stamford, ct
austin, tx
atlanta, ga
new york, ny
san antonio, tx
alpharetta, ga
denver, co
chicago, il
where i'm at this week: downtown houston, tx
i started keeping a little travel journal sort of thing, usually written on my cell phone while i'm out at restaurants. i'll start posting things soon, which i guess will be more interesting than comic strips and fight club quotes.
in the meantime:
on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 12:22 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/blah.gif) blank |
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| don't think about all those things you fear
just be glad to be here | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| the charm of traveling is everywhere i go, tiny life. i go to the hotel, tiny soap, tiny shampoos, single-serving butter, tiny mouthwash and a single-use toothbrush. fold into the standard airplane seat. you're a giant. problem is your shoulders are too big. your alice in wonderland legs are all of a sudden miles so long they touch the feet of the person in front. dinner arrives, a miniature do-it-yourself chicken cordon bleu hobby kit, sort of a put-it-together project to keep you busy.
the pilot has put on the fasten seatbelt sign, and we would ask you to refrain from moving about the cabin.
you wake up at logan, again. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | uh oh | | Time: | 07:26 am |
|
| Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants.
The group was unable to take official action because not enough members stuck around long enough to vote, despite the pleadings of party officials. The convention was held at Canyon View Junior High School.
Don Larsen, chairman of legislative District 65 for the Utah County Republican Party, had submitted a resolution warning that Satan's minions want to eliminate national borders and do away with sovereignty.
In a speech at the convention, Larsen told those gathered that illegal immigrants "hate American people" and "are determined to destroy this country, and there is nothing they won't do."
Illegal aliens are in control of the media, and working in tandem with Democrats, are trying to "destroy Christian America" and replace it with "a godless new world order -- and that is not extremism, that is fact," Larsen said.
i mean, he SAID it's fact, that means it MUST be true! how can you argue with logic like that?
o.O | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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